Its just become a way of life and even though at some distant level I know its wrong and its bad for my body, I just keep on doing it every day.  I don’t know if I can stop and yet I’m scared about what’s happening to me, to my body as I keep on doing this.  I don’t know how I could eat without making myself sick afterwards, it’s the only thing that lets me eat, the only way I feel comfortable taking food in.  That and the laxatives.  I use them every day to make sure I get rid of as much food as possible.  With the vomiting, I can eat without worrying and I just stop thinking about the food…….but I’ve been living like this for years now…..and I’m feeling trapped by myself.  It stops me letting other people get close to me because I can’t bear my own body so I can’t cope with the thought of anyone touching me or seeing me….I hate my body, I’m fat.  I’m really worried about what I’m doing but I’m even more worried about stopping.  I feel so alone and frightened sometimes…..I don’t want to be on my own like this forever, I want to be normal but I don’t know if I can…

Bulimia is a compulsive and harmful eating disorder that drives a person to believe they can get rid of the food they eat by purging through self-induced vomiting and/or excessive use of either laxatives, exercise or both.  The sufferer is under the illusion that purging makes eating safer because they believe that vomiting and laxatives remove most of what they eat.  But this is a mistaken belief.  As food absorption starts very quickly after eating, vomiting will typically remove less than 50% of the calories consumed and since most food absorption has taken place by the time food reaches the place where laxatives work, i.e. the large intestine, laxatives barely remove any calories at all.   Frequent vomiting and laxative use can potentially harm a person’s body in the following ways:

Vomiting can lead to:

• Problems because of the excessive amount of acid that travels from the stomach up to the mouth.  This acid could damage the lining of your throat or make your throat sore.  It could also harm the enamel on teeth and give you bad breath.

Laxative Abuse can cause:

• An imbalance in electrolytes and minerals which are important substances within the body.  These are needed for the healthy functioning of nerves and muscles and an imbalance can affect organs like the heart.

• Loss of water leading to the illusion of weight loss, which is really dehyrdration and which will return as soon as a person drinks fluid.  In the absence of liquids, severe dehydration could result in extreme tiredness and a feeling of weakness or fainting.  In extreme cases, a person may suffer with fits or muscle spasms, have blurred vision and potential damage to vital organs like the kidney, heart or bowel.  Dehydration can be a very serious condition and may require urgent medical attention.

• Laxative abuse may also impact the bowels capacity to help “poo” pass out of the body since it interferes with the natural way in which the bowel operates and may cause internal damage to this part of the body.

Beyond the potential harm caused by self-induced vomiting and laxative abuse, the food consumed by sufferers of bulimia who are typically “bingeing” before purging, tends to be low in nutritional value and can therefore lead to further complications within the body such as dry skin and hair, bone issues, glands becoming swollen and fingernails that break very easily, for example.   A further consequence of this eating behaviour is the likelihood of emotional lability with high levels of anxiety and depression and little hope of regaining control.  

Reaching out for help

If you have been drawn to this article because you are suffering with bulimia yourself or know someone close to you who is, then understanding a little more about the treatment for this eating disorder, will hopefully be useful to you.  It may be interesting for you to realise that self-induced vomiting affects the biochemical balance of the body in such a way that it becomes an “addictive” experience, even though a sufferer will generally consider that it is their “binge eating” behaviour that is the addictive part.  Treatment aims to readdress this balance so that purging gradually ceases and since the biochemical imbalance of purging creates food cravings in the body, this can help to restore some balance and encourage a sufferer to start consuming a healthier range of nutrients.  Overtime, as purging ceases, control over eating generally becomes more manageable given guidance and education about the important elements of food.  When a person’s body becomes more balanced in this way, they will also generally experience less fluctuating emotions and start to feel happier.  At this stage treatment may begin to explore underlying factors that have contributed to the development of the person’s eating disorder and support them in working through any difficulties that are or have been overwhelming.  

For further information contact The Hove Counselling Practice to arrange a free initial assessment.