Many couples in Crawley don’t arrive at a crisis point suddenly. It tends to happen gradually — a slow drift, a pattern that keeps repeating, a conversation that always ends the same way. You may have told yourself things will settle once the shift rota changes, once the mortgage pressure eases, once the kids are a little older. But the distance remains. And eventually, the weight of it becomes hard to ignore.

If that feels familiar, you’re not alone — and what you’re experiencing makes a great deal of sense given the particular pressures of life in this town.

Why Crawley Couples Face Distinct Pressures

Crawley is a genuinely complex place to build a relationship. It is younger than most of the South East — with an average age of 37 compared to 41 regionally — and its population grew by 11.2% between 2011 and 2021, well above the national average. It is the most ethnically varied borough in West Sussex, with over 38% of residents from ethnic minority backgrounds and more than 15% speaking a language other than English at home. That variety brings real richness to the town, and it also brings specific relationship pressures: managing cultural expectations, family obligations, and identity within a partnership is genuinely difficult work.

Then there is Gatwick. Around 25,000 people work on-site at the airport, with tens of thousands more employed in connected roles — many on 4-on-4-off shift patterns covering nights, early mornings, and weekends. When one partner’s schedule is unpredictable, time together becomes rare. Shared routines — the ordinary glue of a relationship — can quietly disappear. Couples where one partner works nights or rotating shifts carry a divorce rate 10–15% higher than those on standard hours.¹

For those who commute into London — with Three Bridges offering a roughly 40-minute train journey into the city — the picture is different but equally wearing. People who commute long distances face a 40% higher risk of relationship breakdown compared to those who work locally.² When one partner spends two or more hours a day in transit, that strain tends to land somewhere in the relationship, even if it’s rarely named directly.

ONS wellbeing data places Crawley 141st out of 164 comparable districts in England for happiness — bottom 15% nationally. Average anxiety scores in the town sit above the national figure, and both measures have worsened since 2014.³ Some Crawley neighbourhoods rank among the 10% most deprived in England.

None of this means relationships here are doomed. It means they are carrying more than they often get credit for.

What the Evidence Says About Couples Therapy

Couples therapy has a strong and growing body of evidence behind it. A 2024 review published in Couple and Family Psychology — drawing on 20 studies covering 332 couples — found that 70% of couples were free of significant distress by the end of treatment, with those results holding for up to two years.⁴ A broader review by Roddy et al. (2020) looked at 58 studies across 2,092 couples and found meaningful improvements in relationship satisfaction among those who received therapy, while couples on waiting lists showed almost no change.⁵

The figures across wider research are consistent. Around 70–75% of couples move from measurable distress to recovery. Approximately 80–85% report significant improvements in how they communicate.⁶ And yet couples wait an average of six years after problems begin before seeking support.⁷ Six years is a long time for habits to harden.

Nationally, nearly 3 million people — across 1.4 million families — are in relationships that cause them real distress. That is 18% of all married or cohabiting couples in the UK.⁸ Among parents with children under 16, the figure rises to 22%. These are not small numbers, and they help explain the steady rise in therapists reporting more relationship-related work: 57% of BACP-registered therapists noted an increase in the past year alone.⁹

Seeking support is, statistically, one of the most effective things a couple can do. The question is usually not whether it helps — it is what stops people from going.

The Six-Year Gap: Why Couples Wait

Shame is part of it. So is the belief that problems should be manageable within the relationship — that needing outside support signals failure. For Crawley’s varied communities, cultural or family expectations can add further layers: the sense that certain conversations belong behind closed doors.

Practically, access matters too. Getting two people to an appointment on the same evening, after shift work or a long commute, is genuinely difficult. This is one of the reasons online couples therapy has become increasingly significant — and the results are clinically comparable to in-person sessions.

A controlled study published in Frontiers in Psychology found no meaningful difference in relationship satisfaction, mental health outcomes, or the quality of the working relationship between couples who attended face-to-face and those who met their therapist via video.¹⁰ A 2024 study of 416 couples confirmed that online therapy produces results equivalent to in-person work across all major measures.¹¹ For couples managing Gatwick shift patterns or long commutes, this matters practically. There is no travel, no visible clinic entrance, no childcare to arrange. Sessions happen in your own space, on a schedule that can fit around work that doesn’t run nine to five.

What Couples Therapy Actually Addresses

Many people carry a narrow picture of what couples therapy involves — two people on a sofa being asked how they feel about each other. The reality is considerably broader. Couples come to therapy with:

• Communication breakdowns — conversations that go in circles, or that never quite happen at all
• Infidelity and broken trust — where the question of repair, or of separation, needs careful space
• Intimacy that has faded — physical or emotional distance that has built over time
• Parenting disagreements — particularly in blended families or where children have additional needs
• Financial stress and household conflict — money is one of the most common sources of tension between partners
• Cultural or family pressure — managing different backgrounds, expectations, or obligations
• Relationship anxiety — where one or both partners live with a persistent fear of loss or abandonment
• Separation support — working through an ending in a way that is manageable and considered

These are not unusual situations. They are the ordinary and serious things that happen to couples who are trying, and who deserve thoughtful support.

The Hove Counselling Practice: Specialist Support for Crawley Couples

The Hove Counselling Practice is led by Claire Sainsbury, an MBACP Accredited therapist. MBACP Accreditation is a voluntary higher-level status — it goes well beyond basic registration and requires a minimum of 450 supervised practice hours, at least three years of post-qualification work, regular ongoing supervision, and a rigorous assessment that includes written reflective essays and a report from a qualified supervisor. The BACP Register was the first register of psychological therapists to be formally recognised by the Professional Standards Authority, an independent body accountable to Parliament.¹²

Claire holds a BA in Psychology, an MSc in Counselling and Psychotherapy Practice, and an Advanced Postgraduate Diploma in Integrative Counselling and Therapy. Her training covers CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy — which she also tutors at City Lit in London), Psychodynamic therapy, Jungian approaches, Attachment Theory, Transactional Analysis, Gestalt, and Positive Psychology. She also holds specialist training in eating disorders and in working with couples specifically.

One aspect of Claire’s practice worth understanding clearly is her Advanced Level 3 certification in Emotional Freedom Technique — more commonly known as EFT Tapping.

EFT Tapping: What It Is and Why It Matters in Couples Work

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT Tapping) and Emotionally Focused Therapy are two entirely different things. Both use the abbreviation EFT, which causes frequent confusion. Emotionally Focused Therapy is an attachment-based talking therapy developed in the 1980s — no tapping involved. EFT Tapping is something separate: a technique developed by Gary Craig in the early 1990s that draws on elements of CBT, exposure therapy, and acupressure.

In a session, the client taps with their fingertips on nine specific points on the body — including the collarbone, eyebrow, and the side of the hand — while naming and acknowledging the difficulty they are carrying. The technique is thought to calm the amygdala, which is the part of the brain that triggers the stress response, and to lower cortisol — the hormone the body produces under pressure. A clinical study found that a single EFT Tapping session reduced cortisol levels by 24.39%, compared to 14.25% for talking therapy alone.¹³ A follow-up study published in the APA journal Psychological Trauma found group EFT Tapping achieved a 43.24% cortisol reduction.¹⁴

Across published reviews, EFT Tapping shows strong results for anxiety, depression, and PTSD. Over 300 clinical trials have been catalogued as of 2025, with eight published reviews of multiple studies showing moderate to large positive effects.¹⁵ It is recognised by the US Veterans Affairs as a generally safe therapy.

It is fair to note that the underlying theory — that tapping on specific energy points in the body produces the effect — is still debated in mainstream science. Some researchers think the benefits come from more familiar processes, such as focused breathing, distraction, or the calming effect of touch. EFT Tapping has not yet been formally adopted as a primary treatment by the APA or WHO. What the evidence does show, across a significant body of trials, is that many people find it genuinely helpful.

In couples work, EFT Tapping addresses a specific and common problem. When a difficult conversation escalates, both partners can reach a point where they are too flooded with emotion to think clearly — let alone speak helpfully. EFT Tapping can interrupt that state quickly, creating enough calm for conversation to continue rather than collapse. It is also a technique couples can learn and use at home between sessions, requiring no equipment and only a few minutes. For a town where anxiety scores already sit above the national average, a practical tool for managing conflict-driven stress has real value.

What a Session Looks Like

Couples sessions at The Hove Counselling Practice run for 55 minutes and cost £110. Individual sessions are available at £90. Sessions run Monday to Friday, 10am to 9:30pm — hours that make evening appointments possible after work or a shift change.

Online sessions are available to couples across Crawley and the surrounding area, with no travel required. Whether you are near County Mall in the town centre, close to Crawley station, or further out towards Tilgate Park with its 400 acres of parkland and lakes, the distance to Hove is not a barrier. The practice also sees couples in person in Hove for those who want a space away from home.

A Note on Waiting

There is no pressure to make a quick decision. Many couples sit with the idea of therapy for months — sometimes longer — before reaching out. That is understandable. Asking for help with something as personal as a relationship takes a particular kind of readiness.

What is worth knowing is this: the longer a pattern continues without interruption, the more ingrained it becomes. Patterns can shift at any stage — but the earlier support arrives, the less work it tends to require. Couples who seek help sooner often find the process less difficult than they expected. The six-year average is not a fixed rule. It is a reminder that waiting tends to cost something.

If you are walking past The Hawth Theatre after an evening that didn’t go well, or sitting across from someone on a train home from London with words unsaid between you, the distance you’re feeling has a name. And support is available.

Getting in Touch

The Hove Counselling Practice offers a space for an initial conversation — no commitment, no pressure. If you would like to find out whether couples therapy might be right for you and your partner, you can reach Claire Sainsbury directly.

Visit: thehovecounsellingpractice.co.uk/contact Call: 07947 073298

Sessions available Monday–Friday, 10am–9:30pm. Online and in-person options available.

References

1. Shift work and divorce risk: peer-reviewed occupational and family studies.
2. Sandow, E. (Urban Studies). Long-distance commuting and relationship breakdown in Sweden.
3. ONS Personal Wellbeing Estimates by local authority area. Annual Population Survey.
4. Spengler, P.M. et al. (2024). Review of couples therapy outcomes. Couple and Family Psychology.
5. Roddy, M.K. et al. (2020). Efficacy of couple therapy. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 88(3).
6. American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT). Consumer research on couples therapy outcomes.
7. Gottman Institute. Research on couples’ delay in seeking therapy.
8. Relate. Relationship Distress Monitor. UK couple wellbeing data.
9. BACP Mindometer Survey (2025). 3,000 member respondents.
10. Kysely, A. et al. (2022). Face-to-face vs videoconference couples therapy. Frontiers in Psychology.
11. Bradford, E. et al. (2024). Online therapy for couples: outcomes study. Psychotherapy Research.
12. British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP). Accreditation standards and PSA registration.
13. Church, D. et al. (2012). Single-session EFT Tapping and cortisol. Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease.
14. Stapleton, P. et al. (2020). Group EFT Tapping and cortisol. Psychological Trauma (APA).
15. Church, D. & Stapleton, P. (2022). Systematic review of EFT Tapping trials: 56 studies, 2,013 participants, 8 reviews.