You may feel comfortable with your partner and refer to him or her as your “best friend”. However,  but, increasingly, as time goes by, you’re beginning to realise that you are more like friends than lovers, as your passionate lovemaking days seem far behind you.

And this saddens you because you probably  wonder whether your partner has stopped finding you attractive, and sometimes you might even catastrophise about there being someone else…….someone more exciting, more engaging and much sexier than you.  Maybe you’ve been having these sorts of doubts for a while but you’re too afraid to broach the subject with your partner.

You might be thinking this is just your mind.  But even so, this doesn’t relieve the thoughts and feelings you might have about being unattractive and unappealing. You may be feeling low and unhappy about yourself, depressed and deflated  because every evening it’s the same routine , tucking into comfort food in front of the tv, little conversation, and before you know it, its time for bed .The while experience begins to resemble having a sleep over with a companion.

Do you miss having a physical connection with your partner and a closeness that stems from having an intimate sexual experience with your partner. If so, it is likely that you may have been together for quite some time, and the loss of intimacy has happened gradually over this period. Its possible that your partner may also be harbouring similar thoughts, mindful of an emotional disconnection, but somehow neither of you ever talks about it. It’s almost as if both of you are complicit in this sense of loss as you drift into friendship and disconnect from physical love.

If you would like things to change, then working together with a relational therapist, can enable you to explore the romantic element of your relationship again and take steps in rebuilding a sexual connection.  Couples therapy can help you to understand more about what is happening within your relationship and how to reignite a sense of passion and desire.