“How did I become this automaton, who is cut off from reality in the moments that span into hours sometimes, as I mindlessly consume food. It’s as if I step into another life in which I only eat and there is only me and food and nothing else. Where everything seems safe and unthreatening, where I am relaxed and switched off from troubles. I don’t see what others see when they look at me, I can’t afford to, I don’t want to yet….its too frightening”.
Living inside a body that has become large, oversized, 20+, extra big or in common parlance “fat or obese,” may be one thing to an external observer and something quite different to “him or her” on the inside. Whilst others may look on in disgust or pity with concern or confusion, blame or judgment, the inner world of such a person is probably incomprehensible. Where food has become a response to coping with painful life events, in the absence of other support, a person may turn to food, as if food becomes a trusted friend who is loyal, reliable, dependable, non-judgemental and “always, always there.” If you had developed a close relationship like this yourself, you might anticipate how difficult it might be to let go, should the relationship break up or be disrupted in some way.
If you have been drawn to this article because someone close to you is unhealthily overweight, then perhaps you can realise the prime importance of trying to connect with the heart of this person, less so than with their physical presence. Beyond the layers of body tissue, there may be a fragility or vulnerability that is hidden away, scared to emerge and disconnected from the possibility of relational trust, acceptance and love. If you are concerned about the health of someone you love because of their weight, then you may find the way through to their body is ultimately from the inside out, rather than the more obvious way around. If you think this is going to be difficult, then eating disorder counselling may provide you with some insights that may guide you in embracing this challenge.
And if you are reading this article because you realise you have become “lost” inside your body, then awareness of the relationship you are having with food and the way in which it may have become an entrenched support in your life, may be a valuable step towards change. Initiating a journey of understanding about your body with the help of counselling, may ultimately enable you to adjust the way you relate to food so that you have a healthier relationship and identify how food can enhance bodily processes and your general health. Through shifting the focus of food in your life, you may also come to identify the ways in which you may have learnt to suppress feelings and avoid the challenge of everyday life stressors. Through the kindness and non-judgemental nature of a counselling relationship, you may develop the confidence to emerge forwards into your life, out of your body and find increasing personal expression and greater levels of happiness.
