Article At A Glance
- Approximately one in five British adults admit to cheating on a partner, making infidelity one of the most common reasons couples seek professional help in the UK.
- Online couples therapy is just as effective as in-person sessions for infidelity recovery, with the added benefit of accessibility from anywhere in the UK.
- Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) achieves a 70–75% recovery rate for couples dealing with betrayal — making it the gold standard for infidelity counselling.
- Disclosure during therapy dramatically changes long-term outcomes — couples who reveal and work through infidelity in therapy have significantly higher marriage survival rates five years later.
- Not all couples therapists are equipped to handle infidelity — knowing exactly what to look for in a UK provider could be the difference between recovery and permanent breakdown.
Infidelity doesn’t just damage a relationship — it can completely rewrite how both partners see themselves, each other, and their future together.
One in five British adults has admitted to cheating on a partner. That’s not a small number, and behind every statistic is a real couple trying to figure out whether what they have is worth saving — and whether saving it is even possible. The Hove Counselling Practice works with couples navigating exactly this kind of crisis, offering specialist infidelity recovery support both in person and online across the UK.
Online couples therapy has changed the recovery equation entirely. Where geography, work schedules, or the sheer shame of walking into a therapy office once kept people from getting help, a secure video call now removes every one of those barriers. The question is no longer can we access therapy — it’s are we using the right kind.
Infidelity Affects 1 in 5 UK Couples — Here Is What Actually Helps
Most couples don’t seek help immediately after an affair is discovered. The initial shock, denial, and emotional chaos can last weeks or even months before either partner considers therapy. By the time they do reach out, patterns of blame, withdrawal, and emotional numbing have often already taken hold — and those patterns are exactly what makes recovery harder.
What actually helps is structured, evidence-based couples therapy delivered by a therapist who specialises in infidelity — not general relationship issues, but the specific trauma that betrayal creates. The global online couples therapy market grew from $16.22 billion in 2023 to $17.9 billion in recent years, a reflection of how rapidly demand is outpacing traditional service models. Couples are seeking help, but the quality of what they find varies enormously.
The therapies with the strongest evidence behind them for infidelity recovery are Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT). Each addresses a different dimension of the aftermath — the emotional rupture, the cognitive distortions, and the dysregulation that makes rational conversation feel impossible. More on each of these shortly.
Why Most Couples Wait Too Long to Seek Help
Shame is the biggest barrier. Both partners often carry it — the person who cheated fears judgement, and the person who was betrayed fears being seen as someone who “wasn’t enough.” That shared shame creates a wall of silence that can delay help-seeking by months, sometimes years. The longer the delay, the more entrenched the damage becomes.
How Online Therapy Changes the Recovery Equation
Online therapy removes the logistical and emotional friction that keeps couples stuck. There’s no commute, no shared waiting room, no chance of being seen by a neighbour. Couples can attend sessions from the privacy of their own home — or even separately from different locations if the initial tension is too high for a shared physical space. This flexibility is particularly important in the early stages of infidelity recovery, when simply being in the same room can feel overwhelming.
- Sessions can be attended from anywhere in the UK, removing geographic barriers entirely
- Scheduling is more flexible, making it easier for working couples or those with children
- The reduced social exposure lowers the shame barrier that prevents many couples from starting
- Each partner can have their own private space during sessions if needed, which can actually support more honest communication early on
- Continuity of care is maintained even during travel, illness, or relocation
Research consistently shows that online therapy produces outcomes comparable to face-to-face delivery for couples work. The therapeutic relationship — the single most important factor in any therapy outcome — transfers effectively to a digital format when the therapist is skilled and the platform is secure.
What Online Couples Therapy for Infidelity Actually Involves
Many couples arrive at their first session with no idea what to expect, which in itself creates anxiety. Understanding what the process actually looks like — practically and emotionally — helps both partners show up more prepared and more open.
The First Session: What to Expect
The first session is rarely about diving straight into the affair. A skilled infidelity therapist will spend significant time in the initial meeting gathering relationship history, understanding each partner’s attachment style, and establishing psychological safety. This isn’t avoidance — it’s foundation-building. Without it, early conversations about the betrayal can quickly escalate into re-traumatisation rather than repair.
How Sessions Are Structured Around Infidelity Recovery
Infidelity therapy follows a loose but deliberate arc. Early sessions focus on stabilisation — reducing the acute emotional chaos and creating enough safety for both partners to remain in the process. Middle sessions begin exploring the conditions that led to the affair, the unmet needs, the communication patterns, and the attachment injuries involved. Later sessions shift toward rebuilding — reconstructing trust, renegotiating the relationship, and deciding together what the future looks like.
This isn’t a linear process. Couples often cycle back through earlier stages, particularly when new information surfaces or when anniversaries or triggers reactivate the trauma. A good therapist anticipates this and frames it as part of recovery rather than failure.
Session Frequency and How Long Recovery Takes
Most couples begin with weekly sessions, moving to fortnightly as stability increases. Research is clear that full healing from infidelity typically takes between two and five years — a timeline that surprises many couples who expect to feel better within a few months. Approximately 33% of couples report feeling fully healed by the end of the therapy itself, but the majority continue to improve significantly in the months and years following treatment. For more insights on what healing actually requires, explore this infidelity recovery guide.
At the six-month post-treatment mark, couples who completed infidelity therapy showed sustained improvement including reduced anxiety, increased forgiveness, less depression, and higher relationship satisfaction. The work done in therapy continues to compound after sessions end.
The Real Reasons Affairs Happen
Understanding why infidelity happens is not the same as excusing it. But couples who never examine the conditions that led to an affair are far more likely to recreate those same conditions — whether together or in future relationships. Therapy creates the space to look honestly at what was happening in the relationship before the betrayal occurred.
The reasons are rarely as simple as opportunity or physical attraction. Most affairs are symptoms of something that was already broken or unspoken in the relationship — needs that weren’t being voiced, emotional distances that had widened quietly over years.
Emotional Disconnection Is the Biggest Driver — Not Sex
The majority of affairs — particularly long-term ones — are rooted in emotional disconnection rather than purely sexual motivation. When one or both partners feel unseen, unvalued, or chronically lonely within the relationship, the vulnerability to emotional intimacy with someone else increases significantly. EFT addresses this directly, working with the attachment system to understand why disconnection happened and how it can be repaired.
How Poor Communication Creates the Conditions for Betrayal
Couples who struggle to express needs, manage conflict, or repair after arguments are at significantly higher risk of infidelity — not because either person is inherently unfaithful, but because unresolved emotional accumulation creates pressure that eventually finds an outlet. CBT research specifically identifies communication skill deficits as a key factor in infidelity vulnerability, and notably, CBT outperforms Schema Therapy in improving communication skills among affected couples.
When couples can’t navigate difficult conversations without one person shutting down or escalating, those conversations stop happening altogether. Silence fills the space — and silence is where affairs are born.
The Therapy Approaches Used for Infidelity Recovery
No single therapy works for every couple, and the most effective practitioners will adapt their approach based on what each couple presents. That said, three modalities have the strongest research base specifically for infidelity recovery, and understanding the difference between them helps couples have more informed conversations with potential therapists.
EFT, CBT, and DBT each target different layers of the infidelity aftermath. EFT works at the level of emotional bonding and attachment. CBT addresses the thought patterns and behavioural responses that follow betrayal. DBT focuses on emotional regulation — essential for couples where one or both partners are experiencing intense, destabilising emotional reactions that make productive conversation impossible.
These approaches aren’t mutually exclusive. Skilled infidelity therapists often draw on elements of more than one modality depending on where the couple is in their recovery process.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): Rebuilding the Emotional Bond
EFT is the most extensively researched approach for couples recovering from infidelity, achieving a 70–75% recovery rate across multiple studies. Developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, EFT works directly with the attachment system — the deep emotional wiring that governs how we bond, seek comfort, and respond to perceived rejection or abandonment. When an affair is discovered, it triggers a profound attachment injury: the person who was supposed to be the safest place becomes the source of the greatest threat. EFT directly targets that rupture.
A quasi-experimental study comparing EFT to CBT for women affected by infidelity found that both approaches produced meaningful improvement, but EFT showed significantly higher effectiveness than CBT in enhancing forgiveness and marital intimacy (P<0.05). When compared to DBT, EFT similarly demonstrated greater impact on forgiveness and intimacy restoration. For couples where the primary goal is rebuilding genuine emotional closeness — not just managing the fallout — EFT is consistently the strongest option available.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): Changing Thought Patterns After Betrayal
CBT approaches infidelity recovery from a different angle — targeting the thought patterns, beliefs, and behavioural responses that develop after betrayal. The betrayed partner often develops a relentless cycle of intrusive thoughts, catastrophic interpretations, and hypervigilance that feels impossible to switch off. CBT gives both partners concrete tools to identify those patterns, challenge them, and replace them with more balanced responses. Research shows CBT is effective in improving self-compassion and reducing experiential avoidance in women who experienced marital infidelity, with effects maintained at a three-month follow-up.
CBT also outperforms Schema Therapy specifically for improving communication skills in infidelity-affected couples — a critical finding, given how central communication breakdown is to both the cause and the aftermath of affairs. The London Psychiatry Clinic notes that CBT helps both individuals and couples reframe how they view the relationship, manage emotional responses, and develop healthier coping strategies. It’s particularly well-suited for couples where one or both partners are caught in rigid, damaging thought loops that are blocking any forward movement.
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT): Managing the Emotional Aftermath
DBT was originally developed for individuals with severe emotional dysregulation, but its core skills — distress tolerance, emotional regulation, mindfulness, and interpersonal effectiveness — are highly applicable to infidelity recovery. In the immediate aftermath of discovering an affair, many people experience what functions like acute trauma: emotional flooding, dissociation, explosive reactions, and an inability to access rational thought. DBT provides a structured toolkit for managing these states well enough to stay in the therapeutic process.
For couples where volatile emotional responses are making sessions unproductive or where one partner is at risk of complete emotional shutdown, DBT-informed techniques create enough stability to allow deeper therapeutic work to begin. It’s rarely used as a standalone approach for infidelity but works powerfully in combination with EFT or CBT when emotional regulation is the primary barrier to progress.
Does Couples Therapy for Infidelity Actually Work?
The short answer is yes — but with important caveats. Approximately two-thirds of all couples improve through therapy, with at least half classified as fully recovered. The remaining third do not benefit, and understanding why matters as much as celebrating the successes. Outcomes depend heavily on therapist specialism, the approach used, whether infidelity is disclosed during treatment, and crucially — the willingness of both partners to genuinely engage with the process.
What the Research Says About Recovery Rates
The research landscape on infidelity recovery is more detailed than most people realise. EFT alone achieves 70–75% recovery rates for couples dealing with betrayal. Across all modalities, roughly two-thirds of infidelity-affected couples who complete a full course of therapy show meaningful improvement in relationship satisfaction, trust, and emotional connection. These are not trivial outcomes — they represent real couples, often in significant distress, finding a path through something that many assumed was unsurvivable.
Recovery, however, is not the same as forgetting. The research distinguishes between recovered — meaning the couple has rebuilt a functional, satisfying relationship — and healed, which involves a deeper processing of the trauma itself. Approximately 33% of couples report feeling fully healed by the end of therapy. The majority continue improving in the years that follow, particularly when they apply the communication and emotional skills developed during treatment.
Why Disclosure During Therapy Dramatically Improves the Odds
One of the most striking findings in infidelity research involves what happens when the affair is disclosed versus kept secret during the therapy process. A landmark five-year post-treatment study produced stark results:
- 57% of couples with revealed infidelity remained married five years after treatment
- Only 20% of couples with secret infidelity remained married at the same timepoint
- 77% of non-infidelity couples were still married five years post-treatment
The gap between 57% and 20% is not subtle. Couples where infidelity is actively concealed during therapy are working on a relationship whose foundation is still fractured — the therapist is helping them manage symptoms without being able to address the actual wound. When disclosure happens, even though it creates acute pain in the short term, it gives both partners and the therapist something real to work with. Honesty is not just morally preferable in this context — it is clinically superior.
What Happens at the Six-Month Mark Post-Treatment
At six months post-treatment, infidelity couples consistently demonstrate sustained improvement across multiple measures: reduced anxiety, increased forgiveness, lower levels of depression, and higher overall relationship satisfaction. The skills built during therapy — emotional regulation, communication, repair after conflict — continue compounding after sessions end. This makes completing a full course of therapy, rather than stopping early when things feel better, significantly more important than many couples realise.
Why Online Therapy Works as Well as In-Person for Infidelity
A common concern is that something as emotionally raw as infidelity recovery requires physical presence — that a screen somehow dilutes the depth of the therapeutic work. The evidence does not support this concern. Research consistently shows that online therapy produces outcomes comparable to face-to-face delivery across a range of psychological presentations, including couples work. The therapeutic alliance — the relationship between therapist and client, which is the strongest single predictor of therapy outcomes — transfers effectively to a digital format when the therapist is skilled and the platform is secure and private.
In fact, for infidelity specifically, online delivery carries some distinct practical advantages. Couples in early-stage crisis often find the idea of physically sitting together in a waiting room — or even in a therapy office — almost unbearable. Being in separate physical spaces during an online session can reduce that initial tension enough to allow productive conversation to start. As the process deepens and emotional safety increases, many couples find the format becomes entirely natural, with no meaningful difference from in-person work.
How to Choose the Right Online Couples Therapist in the UK
The UK online therapy market has grown significantly, and with that growth comes variability in quality. Not every therapist who lists “couples counselling” as a service has meaningful experience with infidelity — and the distinction matters enormously. Choosing the wrong therapist can not only fail to help but can actively entrench damaging patterns, particularly if the therapist unconsciously takes sides, lacks trauma-informed training, or applies a generic approach to a highly specific clinical challenge.
BACP Accreditation: Why It Matters
The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) is the primary professional body for therapists in the UK, and BACP registration is the baseline standard couples should look for when choosing a provider. BACP-registered therapists have met specific training requirements, adhere to a published ethical framework, and are subject to professional accountability processes. This matters in infidelity work, where poor boundary management, inadequate training, or misaligned values can cause genuine harm to already-vulnerable clients.
Specialist Infidelity Experience vs. General Couples Therapy
There is a meaningful clinical difference between a therapist who has experience with general relationship difficulties and one who specialises in infidelity recovery. Infidelity creates a specific type of attachment injury with trauma-like symptoms — intrusive memories, hypervigilance, emotional numbing, identity disruption — that require a therapist who understands the clinical landscape of betrayal, not just relationship conflict. When assessing a potential therapist, ask directly about their experience with infidelity cases, the modalities they use, and their approach to working with the person who had the affair as well as the person who was betrayed. Both need clinical support, and both deserve a therapist who won’t inadvertently punish one while rescuing the other.
Red Flags to Watch for When Choosing a Provider
Some warning signs are easy to spot, others less so. Be cautious of any therapist who cannot clearly explain their theoretical approach, who offers unusually short initial sessions, or whose website contains no information about their qualifications or professional registration. Equally concerning is a therapist who moves too quickly into the content of the affair before establishing safety, or who frames the work primarily around “saving the marriage” rather than supporting both individuals through a genuine process of evaluation and repair.
The goal of good infidelity therapy is not to keep every couple together at all costs — it is to help both partners make informed, emotionally grounded decisions about their future, whether that means rebuilding the relationship or ending it with clarity and dignity. Any therapist who makes you feel that staying together is the only acceptable outcome is not providing neutral, ethical support.
Both Partners Must Be Willing — But One Can Start Alone
A common misconception stops many people from reaching out: the belief that both partners must be on board before therapy can begin. That’s not true. Individual therapy focused on relationship recovery is a legitimate and often powerful starting point, particularly when one partner is in denial, resistant, or simply not ready. Starting alone does not mean staying alone in the process — it means one person takes the first step, which frequently creates enough shift in the relationship dynamic to bring the other partner in.
When one partner begins working with a specialist infidelity therapist, they start developing the emotional regulation and communication skills that change how they show up in conversations at home. That change is often what convinces a reluctant partner that therapy is worth trying. The work isn’t wasted if the other person eventually joins — it becomes the foundation that makes joint sessions more productive from the start. For a deeper understanding of what healing actually requires, you can explore infidelity recovery for couples.
The UK Couples Therapy Market Has Expanded — But Quality Varies
The rapid expansion of online therapy in the UK has created genuine access where none previously existed — couples in rural areas, those with demanding work schedules, and those who would never have walked into a therapy room can now access professional support within days. That accessibility is significant and real. But growth has also brought inconsistency, and the infidelity space in particular attracts providers whose training and experience don’t match their marketing.
The global online couples therapy and counselling services market grew from $16.22 billion in 2023 to $17.9 billion in recent years — a trajectory that reflects enormous demand, not a guarantee of quality. For UK couples navigating infidelity, the practical implication is clear: the availability of online therapy is not the bottleneck anymore. Choosing well is.
What the Growth of Online Therapy Means for Couples in the UK
For couples in the UK specifically, the expansion of online therapy means that geography is no longer a valid reason to delay help. A specialist infidelity therapist based in Brighton can work just as effectively with a couple in Edinburgh, Manchester, or a rural village in Wales. The clinical outcome is the same — what changes is the logistical barrier, which essentially disappears. This matters enormously for couples where one or both partners have previously used distance or inconvenience as a reason to postpone the work they know they need to do.
The challenge now is discernment. With more providers available than ever, couples need to ask sharper questions — about qualifications, specialism, therapeutic approach, and professional registration — rather than simply choosing whoever has the earliest availability or the most polished website.
How BACP Research Shows Therapy Stabilises Relationships
The BACP’s research into the outcomes of couples therapy in the UK consistently shows that structured therapeutic intervention stabilises relationships in crisis and significantly reduces the likelihood of further breakdown. For infidelity specifically, couples who complete a full course of evidence-based therapy with a BACP-registered practitioner demonstrate measurably better outcomes than those who either receive no support or engage with unaccredited providers. Professional registration isn’t just a formality — it’s a meaningful signal of ethical standards, training quality, and accountability.
Healing From Infidelity Takes Time — But It Is Possible
Research places the typical healing timeline for infidelity at two to five years — a range that many couples find confronting when they’re in the acute phase of discovery and simply want the pain to stop. But this timeline is not a sentence. It is a realistic, evidence-based picture of what deep relational repair actually requires, and understanding it helps couples stop measuring their progress against an unrealistic expectation of rapid resolution.
What the research also shows is that couples who engage meaningfully with specialist therapy don’t just survive infidelity — many describe their relationship as stronger, more honest, and more genuinely intimate after the recovery process than it was before the affair. That outcome is not guaranteed, and it requires hard work from both partners and a skilled therapist. But it is real, and it happens more often than most people believe is possible in the immediate aftermath of betrayal.
Frequently Asked Questions
The questions below address the most common concerns couples raise before starting online infidelity therapy in the UK — covering timelines, logistics, what different types of support involve, and how to assess whether recovery is realistic for your specific situation.
How Long Does Online Couples Therapy for Infidelity Take in the UK?
Full recovery from infidelity typically takes between two and five years, but this does not mean five years of weekly therapy sessions. The formal therapy phase — structured sessions with a therapist — generally spans several months to a year or more depending on severity and progress. Most couples begin with weekly sessions, transitioning to fortnightly as stability increases, and then to monthly check-ins as the relationship consolidates its new foundation. For more insights on what healing actually requires, you can explore infidelity recovery for couples.
Approximately 33% of couples report feeling fully healed by the end of the therapy itself. The majority continue to improve significantly in the months and years after treatment ends, applying the skills and insights developed during the formal process. Ending therapy early — when things feel “better enough” — is one of the most common reasons couples plateau rather than fully recover.
Can Online Couples Therapy Work if Only One Partner Wants to Attend?
Yes. Individual therapy with an infidelity specialist is a legitimate and clinically valuable starting point when one partner is resistant, unavailable, or not yet ready to engage. The work done in individual sessions — developing emotional regulation, processing the trauma of betrayal, understanding your own attachment patterns — directly improves the relationship dynamic even before the other partner joins.
In many cases, one partner beginning individual therapy creates the relational shift that eventually brings the other person in. Resistance often softens when the reluctant partner observes genuine change in the person who started first. One person beginning is not a failed version of couples therapy — it is often the most effective way to begin it. For more insights, explore how online couples therapy can facilitate these changes.
What Is the Difference Between Couples Counselling and Couples Therapy for Infidelity?
These terms are often used interchangeably, but they describe different levels of clinical intervention. General couples counselling typically addresses communication difficulties, recurring conflict patterns, and relationship dissatisfaction — it is well-suited to relationships under strain but without acute trauma. Couples therapy for infidelity is a more intensive, trauma-informed process that specifically addresses the attachment injury, trust destruction, and psychological aftermath that betrayal creates.
The practical differences matter when you’re choosing a provider. A counsellor experienced in general relationship support may not have the clinical training to work effectively with the trauma-like symptoms that frequently follow infidelity discovery — intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance, emotional flooding, and identity disruption. Key distinctions include:
- Infidelity therapy is trauma-informed and attachment-focused
- General couples counselling addresses communication and conflict without a trauma framework
- Infidelity specialists work with both the betrayed partner’s trauma and the affair partner’s psychology simultaneously
- Session structure in infidelity therapy follows a deliberate arc: stabilisation, exploration, and rebuilding
- Therapeutic modalities used (EFT, CBT, DBT) are specific to the clinical presentation of betrayal
When in doubt, ask the therapist directly: Have you worked specifically with infidelity cases, and what approach do you use? The answer will tell you immediately whether they have the right background for what you’re dealing with.
Is Online Couples Therapy Covered by Insurance in the UK?
Coverage for couples therapy through private health insurance in the UK varies significantly between providers and policy types. Some policies include psychological therapy as a benefit but restrict it to individual rather than couples work. Others will cover a portion of couples sessions when there is a clinical diagnosis — such as depression or anxiety — directly linked to the relationship crisis. For those considering therapy options, exploring the benefits of online couples therapy can be a valuable step.
The most reliable approach is to contact your insurer directly and ask specifically about couples therapy or relationship counselling coverage, and whether infidelity-related presentations qualify. Be prepared to provide your therapist’s BACP registration number, as most insurers will require evidence of professional accreditation before considering reimbursement.
Many couples accessing online infidelity therapy in the UK pay privately. Session costs typically range from £70 to £150 per hour depending on the therapist’s experience, location, and specialism. Some practices offer sliding scale fees or reduced-cost initial consultations, making it worth enquiring about fee structures before assuming a service is out of reach.
Below is a general overview of how therapy costs and coverage typically compare across common UK scenarios:
Route Typical Cost Wait Time Infidelity Specialism NHS (via GP referral) Free Months to years Rarely available Private BACP therapist (online) £70–£150/session Days to weeks Available with the right provider Private health insurance Variable/covered Depends on policy Varies by insurer Employee Assistance Programme (EAP) Free (employer-funded) Short Typically limited sessions, generalist
How Do I Know if My Relationship Can Recover From an Affair?
There is no reliable external test for this — and anyone who tells you otherwise is oversimplifying a genuinely complex question. What research does tell us is that certain factors consistently predict better outcomes in infidelity recovery therapy:
- Both partners are willing to engage honestly with the therapeutic process
- The affair is disclosed rather than concealed during therapy
- The person who had the affair demonstrates genuine remorse and accountability — not just regret at being discovered
- The betrayed partner is willing, over time, to work toward understanding rather than purely seeking punishment
- Both partners have a baseline of commitment to the relationship that exists independently of the crisis
- The couple engages with a therapist who specialises in infidelity rather than a generalist
The absence of one of these factors doesn’t make recovery impossible — but the presence of most of them significantly raises the odds. Couples who came into therapy certain their relationship was over have rebuilt something they describe as better than what they had before. Couples who came in certain they would recover have sometimes decided, through the therapy process, that ending the relationship was the healthiest outcome for both of them.
This is why the goal of good infidelity therapy is never a predetermined outcome — it is clarity. Clarity about what happened, why it happened, what each person genuinely wants, and whether rebuilding is something both partners choose freely rather than out of fear, obligation, or inertia.
The five-year data is worth returning to here: 57% of couples who disclosed infidelity during therapy remained married five years later. That’s a majority — and a meaningful one, given the severity of what they were navigating. It is not a certainty, but it is a realistic basis for hope when both people are genuinely willing to do the work.
If you’re asking whether recovery is possible, the honest answer is: for many couples, yes — and the single best way to find out is to begin. The Hove Counselling Practice offers specialist infidelity recovery therapy online and in person, providing couples across the UK with the evidence-based, professionally accredited support they need to navigate betrayal and make genuinely informed decisions about their future together.